


I'm Here

by Ekatarinabeisel76



Series: Drowning [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Het Relationship, Community: 100_prompts, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Slash, episode s03e02: Kanalua
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-11
Updated: 2012-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-16 03:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ekatarinabeisel76/pseuds/Ekatarinabeisel76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Chin struggles to get his life back together after Malia's death Danny is forced to reveal a few of his deepest secrets to Steve. And Because Steve is a super sailor buddy and shooting for first place in the category of 'most aggravating friend ever', he is determined to put Danny's fears and emotional baggage to rest. His first mission: Bring Chin and Danny together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Here

The morning dawned bright and beautiful over the ocean, and the soft sand glittered beneath the gentle waves lapping at the shore. It was as if the island itself was daring anyone to be unhappy on such a beautiful day. And it was beautiful; the sun hung high in the sky and sent cascades of light down through the clear blue water, and the silhouettes of birds could be seen for miles away from the shoreline, uninhibited by a single cloud. It was a special day; Danny hadn’t gotten on the water on his board ever before, but he had paddled out right alongside Kono and Steve. His heart pounded against his ribcage, imploring him to turn back before he ended up just like Billy. But he fought back, told his mind to can it and forced his arms to cooperate, and he did it all for Chin.

Because Danny might not have lost his wife to violence, but he’d lost plenty of friends and colleagues in New Jersey to muggings and gang violence, and he’d spent the last decade of his life comforting victims, but this was Chin, and debilitating fear of drowning and traumatic experiences be damned!

Danny couldn’t watch another friend drown, even if the waves were figurative and made of heartache and sorrow.

He couldn’t bring Malia back. He couldn’t hunt down Frank Delano and kill him. But Danny could paddle out into the circle of mourners and show his support for a man that he had admitted that he admired a long time ago. And when he said admired, he meant ‘crushed on harder than a thirteen year-old girl on her hot fresh-out-of-college english teacher.

Leaving Chin out in the middle of the ocean seemed wrong, but he couldn’t argue with Steve, or his cellphone, or a gang of art thieves holding a hostage and shooting a cop. That doesn’t mean that Danny was relieved to see Chin hunched over the central computer when he and Steve returned to Five-0 headquarters.

“You should not be here.” he said, still recovering from the shock of seeing him back at office so soon after Malia’s service. 

“I know.” Chin answered quietly. “I just can’t be at home right now.”

Danny nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled into a hug so uncharacteristically tight that he wondered if Chin might crack one of his ribs.

‘Just like I can’t go back to that cabin.’ Danny thought, and he left it at that.

It was just another case. There wasn’t any need to drag those memories out of their cage, he decided. ‘And there’s even less reason to keep crushing on a guy who's just lost his wife!’ he growled at himself, completely at loss to his frustration.

So he was more than a little relieved when they split up in their usual scooby-groups; Danny and Steve, and Kono and Chin. It got him out of the office with a man he desperately wanted to comfort, and into a car with another man who knew him well enough to know that something was wrong.

“Alright, what’s up with you?” Steve demanded as soon as they were both in the car. His fingers clutched the key in the ignition, sending a very pointed message to Danny with a level gaze; they weren’t moving until Danny caved.

“Chin just lost his wife, and I’m pissed that we can’t find the guy that killed her.” Danny said heatedly. “Isn’t that enough for you?”

“Maybe.” Steve replied, “Maybe I would believe that, if you weren’t so damned surprised to see Chin back at the office, and if I hadn’t seen your face when he hugged you.”

“I’m sorry if I am not hands-on enough for you Steve,” Danny retorted, his voice steadily getting louder, “The first time he hugs me and he’s mourning his wife.” And then, much more quietly than before, he added, “He’s drowning and I feel like I can’t do a damn thing but watch.”

Steve’s face softened. He reached an arm around his partner’s shoulders and pulled him closer, bringing them together over the gearshift of the corvette.

“All we can do is be there for him.” he said softly.

“Yeah.” Danny said. “Yeah, I’ll just be here, like I always am. ‘I’m here and I’m being useless’.” he said bitterly, breaking out of Steve’s loose embrace over his shoulders. But Steve, being the super sailor that he was, reacted far quicker to his words than Danny had anticipated. He fixed Danny with a pointed look and jabbed the door lock with his unoccupied hand.

“Danny, you aren’t useless-” Steve insisted.

“-can we end this pity party and get back to work now? Please?”

“No.” Steve shot back. “You know why? Because I wasn’t done!”

“Well then please Skipper, by all means, finish your damn point!” 

“Thank you! I will! I will make my point!” Steve said, his voice just as loud as Danny’s in the otherwise quiet car. “I was going to say that you are not useless, and this would all go a lot better for all of us if you would just admit that you love Chin.”

Danny immediately began shaking his head, “Nuh uh, no, no, no, no, and one last time, no!”

“You love him.” Steve insisted smiling a little as he turned the key in the ignition.

“You’re wrong.” Danny shot back.

“You love him, you know you do, I know you do, so what’s the issue Danno? I don’t get it. Why can’t you just say it and accept it and do something about it?”

“Ooh.” Danny hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You know what Steve, I really don’t think you want to know the answers to any of those questions, but since you are such a pain in the ass, and you obviously won’t let it go, I will tell you.”

“Great.” Steve said, smiling. “Tell me; explain it to me Danno.”

“There’s is one word in that phrase that I just don’t do Steve.” he said slowly. “The last time I told someone that I loved them, they spat it back at me in a divorce petition, took my kid away, and left me no choice but to move to an island, knowing full-well how much I hate them. I have accepted it, but I will not act on it because I am not morally depraved enough to take advantage of a man mourning the woman that he loved more than anything in his entire life!” a moment later, he murmured, “And I do not need to be friendless and guilt-ridden on top of being generally miserable and divorced.”

Danny didn’t have to look at his partner to know that Steve’s eyes were full of sad understanding and more pity than Danny could stand. He hated sharing his secrets with anyone, much less Steve. He really didn’t want anyone to know just how much baggage he was carrying around on his chipped shoulder and bruised heart. He especially hated being pitied. It made him feel weak. It made him feel vulnerable.

It made him feel useless.

Then Steve’s hand was on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but when Danny braved a reluctant glance at his friend’s eyes, he saw a spark of hope brimming with sea-gray affection. He pressed his foot to the gas pedal and began to steer them towards their next destination in pursuit of August March, taking his hand off Danny’s shoulders at the last possible moment, after a gentle squeeze.

The car remained utterly silent until Steve said, “You remember what I told Kono after she missed her graduation, about the team being family?”

Danny nodded. 

“That applied to you too, you know. I don’t care if you’re a loud and obnoxious foodie, I don’t care if you hate the water, even though I take that as a personal affront, and I certainly don’t care if you’re gay. “ He took his eyes off of the empty stretch of highway in front of them to stare at Danny. “You’re family Danny; how many times do we have to nearly die together before you get that?”

“Point taken Skipper.” Danny said. And then, in an effort to recover the nonchalant, laid-back atmosphere that seemed to have ran away screaming when they entered the car, he added, “Now drive. I’d like to solve this case before I’m too old to get out of my car unaided.”

Steve flashed a bright smile, and pressed down on the gas pedal.


End file.
